I was about to go to Pilar early.. say, I should be there by 8am because today is our baby E.Z’ first birthday and I have to help the family for the preparation.. but mom called and she told me to wait for them.. JP s supposed to come with me.. I was so happy when he told me that he will go with me so that I could officially introduce him to the family.. I really didn’t want to invite him to come because today is also the birthday of his little, means that I already know the answer.. but when he told me that they will celebrate it on Sunday, tomorrow, I had the guts to ask him to come.. but the “balat” in my butt didn’t allow us.. his mom called yesterday morning to inform him that they will be celebrating it today.. if only surgery can take away the unluckiness of this “balat,” I could’ve done it a long time ago..

Anyway, JP’s destination today is also in Las Piñas.. I told that if he wants to be there without passing by the traffic, he can try to ride the van in Ayala.. within 30 he can be in SM Southmall.. but I noted that I’m not sure if there are vans in Ayala at such time like 8:30am.. when he arrived to Ayala he told me that there aren’t any vans in the terminal yet.. I apologized and asked him where he is.. he told me that he is on his way to buendia.. so I told him that since he will pass by metro point, I told him to also look and try if there are vans there because I know that there is also a terminal there to Las Piñas.. again he told me that there are no vans there yet.. and he told me that in this way..

“there are no vans to Las Piñas in all of your suggested places.. I will just go to buendia where my sister ask me to ride..”

I really don’t like it when he compares my ideas to his sister’s.. I just feel insulted whenever he do that kind of thing.. I told him to try.. I noted him that I’m not sure if the terminals are already open as early as 8am.. so why does he have to tell me that he will just follow his sister’s direction instead of mine.. I hate it! I just hate! This is not only time where he tries to put up his sister to our conversation.. yeah, I know his sister is a good person, has a nice personality, can stand by herself, is independent, is responsible, and is blah blah blah.. but why does he have to tell it to me?! I don’t know if he’s telling it because he just wants to tell it to me or he’s telling it because he wants to insult me or to say that “you’re not as great as my sister..” oh the hell with his sister.. his sister is a nice person, she even borrowed a sarong to me once.. but I’m sorry her brother wants me to hate her.. uhm.. I don’t hate her.. I just hate the feeling when JP tells something about her..

Well, JP, if only you could read this.. I really feel insulted whenever you start saying, “look at my sister..” Understand the fact that she’s older than me.. that we came from different families.. grew up in different settings.. she studied at st. scho, which we all know, is the rival school of st. paul, which you perfectly know that i’m studying there.. Your sister and I are two VERY different people.. and you can’t do anything about it.. your sister is unique.. I’m also unique in my own way.. someday, you’ll be proud of me.. prouder than you are to your sister.. just wait and see..

Today is our tribute to Dra. Ravara, our ex-chairperson.. I’m so lucky to start my day because I woke up late, say 7:30am.. I’m already late in submitting my psychological report in NCMH and what made it worst is that our room has to be painted and I have to be there in the room while the painter does his work.. and he finished at about 9:30, good thing I already ate my breakfast and so my next step is to take a good bath as fast as I can which, to be honest I cannot do.. I ended up at around 10:30.. I was about to go out our house when my phone rang.. it was joan using melissa’s phone.. she was already asking where I am.. so I told her that I’m on my way.. I didn’t know that margz and cors are also waiting for me.. I forgot that it’s a Friday, means that we have our 3rd gossip session but this time it will be held in rob place because after the care group we will attend the tribute to dra. Ravara..

On our way to pedro gil, I asked renee if she wants to be the JPSTD chapter head of our school.. she sad that she will think of it and will give me the decision when we arrive at rob place.. I told her that if she declines to the position, I will talk to margz and chiko about it.. during the trip to pedro gil I can hear renee asking opinions to jb and anna.. she said she wanted it but she’s worried that if she takes the position, she cannot concentrate on her thesis and other stuff.. I even heard her say that being a chapter head is only a small position in the organization.. when I couldn’t take it anymore I interrupted their conversation, I almost shouted at her while telling her that the chapter heads have big responsibilities that is why I’m asking her if she wanted it.. I know that she wants to be an officer of that organization that’s why she’s the first one that I asked about it.. anyway, when we arrived at pedro gil station, she gave me her decision.. she declined it..

We went straight to rob place without me asking renee why she declined the position.. anyway, it’s fine with me coz I can still offer it to margz and chiko.. our third gossip session was held at mcdo.. upon arriving, I saw margz and cors’ not-so-happy faces.. they were already waiting for us 48 years ago.. well, I apologize.. but I have to do something important before leaving the house.. while eating, I asked margz the same question that i’ve asked to renee.. instead of answering me with a yes or a no, she told me to ask chiko if wants the position.. because blah blah blah.. I didn’t listen anymore.. if she doesn’t want it then fine with me.. I didn’t join the care group anymore because I have to go to chiko’s dorm because she’ll teach me the dance steps for our number in dra. Ravara’s tribute.. then I told chiko about the position and guess what she answered me, “ask margz about it..” oh.. I’m beginning to get irritated.. why don’t just answer me with a yes or a no.. is it so hard to pronounce the words? but still I managed to ignore my emotions..

Chiko, Rachel, Pam and I decided to go to school at 3pm.. margz and the others were already there.. jb told me to go to the villa where they stay without anyone but myself, so I did.. I can’t remember anymore how it started.. the chapter head issue was opened up by, I don’t know if it’s me or margz or renee or anyone else.. I just can’t remember who.. renee started saying that being the chapter head is not her passion and blah blah blah.. I really don’t wanna listen anymore because I will soon blow up.. and then margz also begun stating her reasons.. blah blah blah.. I told them that if they don’t want it then fine, end of story.. but they still continued to talk.. I love margz, she’s my friend and she’s always been there for me whenever I need her badly but I was really pressured that time and I was really irritated so I shouted, “ENOUGH!” after saying that I kept quiet.. when renee couldn’t take it anymore she stood up and went home..

I know I was wrong for not listening to their side.. but I also hope that they understand my situation.. it’s my first time to be an officer.. whenever I’m given a task by our president I really get pressured because I always think that I couldn’t do it.. one of task is to find a chapter head.. they were the first that came out in my mind because they ran for the past election of JPSTD.. I thought they will feel grateful for me asking them to be the chapter head of st. paul but instead of giving me a simple answer, they gave me such childish reasons.. I’m sorry, this is my opinion..

Anyway, end of story.. I don’t wanna talk about anymore with them.. I don’t wanna ruin my relationship with this people just because of that.. oh, thanks to ate april for convincing chiko to accept the position..

All at once, I fin’lly took a moment and I’m realizing that(oh my I'm singing)… all the news that I had since last week were all stocked up only in my mind.. oh, I’m so lazy in updating this blog and doing my protocols at the same time.. oh, good thing I’m finished with them all.. if only JP didn’t teach me how to play Ragnarok I would’ve finish them in no time.. anyway, it’s also my fault.. yeah I know.. what can I do? I’m enjoying the stupid online game where in your character will level up and will soon be strong.. oh and because JP and I have a bet.. my character, which I play in his account is now on Level 76.. if his character, which he play on my account, reached the same level until June 1 then I will buy him a necklace (because I already gave him a bracelet) and if he’s so unlucky then he’ll buy me a bracelet (because he already gave me a necklace).. I have to win! Why? First because I don’t have money.. and if ever I have, I’ll be saving that for his birthday.. second, because I want to show him that I’m good in playing Ragnarok.. see, JP’s playing this game since we were in first year college.. and me? Oh, I just started playing since March of this year.. he has a very high pride so I just need to pull it down.. and Ragnarok will be one good example of how I can do it.. haha.. and third, I just realized that I’m not wearing bracelets anymore.. haha..


It’s our last day at NCMH.. but there was no special treatment given to us.. haha.. as if.. I already know that we are very important people/persons so they don’t have to give as any special treatment.. Anna, Renee and Me went to Shang after having lunch with the members of the Bitch-ness Club.. I asked them to repeat the gossips that they’ve got last Friday when I wasn’t still arriving.. so it was about Joan being an easy-way-out person.. Chiko’s Pabibo Thing.. Kate’s attitude.. I end up adding some spice about Kate.. they didn’t know that Kate is very brand conscious.. would always ask me where I bought my new bag and how much it cost me to buy it.. not only my bags, but some little things that I own.. But then, Renee told me that most of Kate’s things are fake.. talk about being a social climber.. I always thought that Kate is the “sosyal” type because of her attitude.. but I found out that she’s a fake.. maybe she just can hide it because of her rich boyfriend.. hMmM.. JB, Cors and Beth arrived after I think 3 hours.. then I went home after taking a bite of the food they’ve bought..

JPSTD meeting was cancelled and moved to Wednesday, so I asked JP if he can come over our place for some bonding moments.. (bonding moments? Oh c’mon!) knowing that he also wants to see me.. (bwahaha!) so he went, but on his way he delivered me a bad news.. his parents might go to Manila this afternoon so that means he have to go home early.. like 3pm? =( when the clock started to approach 3pm I suddenly remembered that I have to show him something that my little brother has downloaded to our pc.. (I know how to get his attention.. haha!) so he watched it until a light bulb suddenly pops above his head and remembered that he have to run for his life because of his parents..

JP’s relationship with me is illegal on his family’s side.. I know it’s unusual to hear that because he’s the guy.. we have talked about it before until my parents learned about our hidden relationship.. on my part, it was a big change.. but for him, there was no change.. we still have to hide our relationship to his parents because of some complicated reasons.. I don’t care whatever other’s might think.. I’ve already thought about it too but in the long run my mind ends up in one thing.. I love him and I don’t care whether his family knows it or not.. God will give us what we/I ask for in the right time..

We had our second gossip session at Shang this day.. as Margz said on her blog.. go to this site for more details (www.libremoko.blogspot.com) but before that JP and I watched Da Vinci Code.. I texted Mrs. Sabado that I will go home because I had dysmenorrhea.. what a liar.. haha.. I just passed my first protocol and then off I go to Shang to meet JP.. Pam was with me until Chiko texted me that they (she and Margz) will go ruin my date because they will join us in watching the film.. who would’ve want your friends around if you have a date with your boyfriend? So I replied and told her that Pam can join them.. they entered the movie house first because the ticket that I have reserved is for 2:50 pm.. JP and I went to Netopia, played Ragnarok until it was time for Da Vinci Code.. After the movie, JP told me that it was one of the best films he has seen.. to be exact, second to the Forest Gump which is also starred by Tom Hanks.. I told him that if he had read the book, he wouldn’t be satisfied at the movie at all.. to be honest, it should not have been rated as R-18.. but of course our church is really protecting their reputation.. I think they just put on some money to MTRCB to rate it as that.. all in all, there isn’t too much fuzz about the movie..

Thank God for giving us a rest day.. but still I don’t call it a day.. I have to revise my evaluation on my first patient.. the WAIS-R, SSCT, Draw-A-Person and summary.. Mrs. Sabado wasn’t satisfied of my summary because it’s too short.. uhm.. so it shouldn’t be called summary right? It should be called as “Rolando’s Past and Present Condition..” I thought she would be happy to read my summary because it was made specially by Cham.. haha.. I should’ve not trusted her my summary.. call it a karma.. haha..

i'm so excited to watch the Da Vinci Code.. i'll be going home early tomorrow just to watch that.. can't believe that i'll suffer my precious time for that.. well, i just hope that it would be worth my time.. oh, i guess it will.. because i'll be watching it with JP..

I’ve read JB’s blog about her classmate asking if what we do in NCMH is to clean up patient’s butt.. oh my.. how unlucky she asked the wrong person.. haha.. I remembered my patient last Tuesday.. Cham and I we’re giving him the sentence completion test when his nanay-nanayan sat close to him and..

Patient: ang babait nyo pala.. nay, ang babait pala ng mga nurse..

and I was like “hindi kami nurse! Psychologist kami!

and he repeated it again.. “ang bait nyo talagang mga nurse..”

I got irritated I almost shouted him “hindi nga kami nurse eh! Psychology course naming!”

His nanay-nanayan held his hand and said “anak, psychologist sila..”

My mom bugged me right after our high school graduation just for me to take up that stupid course.. she wants me to go abroad and earn money there.. she said that if I take that course I’ll be rich in no time.. yeah right.. I have lots of money but I’ll be cleaning old people’s ass, clean floors in where they vomit, give them a bath and everything.. and then what? pick my pride in the trash.. no way! I want to work hard for my money and working hard doesn’t mean that I have to do those rubbish things..

Renee has become our favorite toy since I got fond of JB and Cors’ company.. I’m also starting to adopt her tag line “you’re so mean..”

hMm.. I already had my second patient yesterday and I was sooo thankful because time is running for all of us.. our 100 hours will soon be consumed.. I think we only have until Tuesday.. but for those who hasn’t complete their protocols, they will stay there until June 2.. well i’m hoping that I am not one of them..

anyway, it’s about today.. it’s a different day from any other typical summer day.. it was so cold this morning, it makes me want to not go to National Center for Mental Health (NCMH).. but thank God that I have a conscience because I, together with Cham, had our last patient.. means that we already have the required protocols for our on-the-job-training in the clinical setting..

just like yesterday, our patient is a kid.. a boy to be exact.. to be honest, I love kids.. I just love playing and make lambing with them.. but because of our patient for this day, I started to wonder if I’m still going to love kids.. but still, it is understandable because he’s a special child.. but not so special.. it was just because he’s physically abused by his father and was forced to take or to have intake of rugby which caused him his present condition.. oh my, he is so aggressive.. and so over confident.. sorry for being redundant, but the words fits our patient’s personality.. as in.. I do understand his current state but my God, he is boastful that he knows the answers to the questions even if he ended up being wrong..

ex.
Examiner: ano ang tawag sa batang baka?
Patient: ay! Alam ko yan eh.. ano nga ba.. alam ko yan.. (thinks).. tinuro yan saken ng nanay at tatay ko.. (thinks again)..
Me: (only in my mind) ows? Talaga? Bakit ang tagal mo mag-isip?
Patient: (finally said) nakalimutan ko na eh.. hindi ko alam..

See?! alright.. I know I’m mean but at least I understand.. it’s just an opinion.. anyway, we didn’t finish the WISC-R before our lunch break because their nanay-nanayan brought them to the doctor.. being so kind, our clinical instructor let us have an early lunch and asked us to be back at 1:30pm to continue the tests..

I should’ve bought my food to the diner near the gate of NCMH when we saw that it was closed.. chiko, cham and me didn’t have ant choice, so we went outside the premises to find another diner or eatery.. being not-so-lucky today, we found one.. so there.. we took our own orders and the manangs started to prepare it.. then I saw their packaging.. they were only putting it in plastics.. so I asked if they don’t have any styrofoam where we can automatically eat our food so that we won’t have problem in finding a plate! Then one of the manages said that they have but we have to pay for it.. it costs 5 pesos.. so I said “sige, lagay nyo sa styro..!” gawd.. I’m losing my temper.. then again there aren’t any spoon and fork! so again I asked and they said that the Styrofoam, spoon and fork all costs for 5 pesos.. thank God! because really, I’m getting irritated! and then we went back to Pavillion 1 to have our lunch..

After our not-so-good-lunch, we decided to go around the Pavillion and wander around the wards.. and then after going around, somebody (I don’t remember who among us) asked if we wanted to go to Pavillion 4 where insane men with cases stays.. so we agreed.. but before going there, we all put vicks into our nose to avoid the very awesome smell in that Pavillion.. but when we were already there, the vicks didn’t have any effect, we still absorbed the smell and oh my.. it was soooo bad!! it makes me want to vomit! but i felt happy because I managed to go up the second floor inspite of the smell.. not like chiko, joan and rachel who run for their lives because they couldn’t stand the smell..

1:30 pm came and we continued to give the test to Luisito.. as cham asked the questions to him, i watched JB and Tin with their patient Bernard whom for JB, is a super pasaway.. JB doesn’t have enough patience for kids..=) she was really losing her patience that she starts to shout to cham when she tried to make “kulit” with Bernard.. JB, you are really mean.. and so am i.. bwahaha! but at least we accomplished our work for today even if the kids were really hard headed.. to be honest, I pity those kids because they have dreams.. now, how can they pursue their dreams if they have mental problems.. their parents are really the ones that should be blamed..

it was already 3pm when joan started to throw tantrums.. why? Oh it’s just because she wanted to go home so bad.. she was like “Doreen.. gusto ko ng umuwi..” and then after one minute or two she would repeat it again then again.. she was already irritating me.. then we went outside to have her tests with their patient photocopied.. I bought chips and coke sakto.. sakto is only a glass full so imagine how small amount I could only drink.. then joan asked if she could drink.. me, being kind said yes.. so she drank.. then she drank again and again until only a tiny amount of coke was left for me.. the evil in me started to come out.. i begun to use my devil eyes because i lost my temper to joan.. i was already the one who’s throwing tantrums.. i’m really thirsty at that time and before that she was really getting on my nerves.. my apologies because I’m really like that.. joan texted me and asked if i’m mad at her because of the looks that i gave her.. i replied and said that i got irritated and told her that I don’t want to talk about it..

i’m still waiting for my boyfriend’s text.. he’s still playing Defense of the Ancient (if I’m not mistaken) a.k.a DOTA.. end of the day..